I am shy to a fault. I don't mean to be rude or cold. It's just how I am.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm socially awkward. My mood, mannerisms, and speech pattern can be very erratic. I'm usually detached around people. It's not because I don't care. I just don't have good social skills. Anybody who really knows me can tell you that I'm someone you can always count on to be there, even if you don't deserve it. I have a big heart. But since I'm so awkward with people, I have a hard time showing it. I desire closeness and affection, but don't feel comfortable with it at the same time. Expressing how I feel has always been very difficult so I usually don't. I also don't want to be burden on anyone so even when I can express emotion I avoid it.
I'm really fun and crazy when I'm comfortable. If not, I'm rather standoff-ish. I'd like to be more outgoing and I have been trying to be less of a hermit. Please excuse my panic attacks, paranoia, and occasional angry rants. Oh yes, did I mention I'm a fan girl?